Giving It Up To God

I hear this often. "I gave it up to God" or "I'm giving it up to God". As in, I surrendered. Whatever the issue is, I surrendered it. I acknowledge that God, not myself, is in control, and only He can influence the outcome, and I shouldn't worry, because what happens is His will, whether I agree with it or not.

Boy, this is one I have a hard time with. I have spent the majority of my life as a non-Christian. I won't say non-believer, because I did believe in something, but I was on the wrong path. I believed that Christ was a great, generous prophet, but not that He was my savior. Lots of things led me to see where I was wrong, including some wonderful ladies over at Mrs. Survival, some hard and fast prayer by my grandma Pearl, and the death of my father.

Well, it wasn't really the death of my father. I had already started thinking seriously about the Savior aspect of Christ when my dad died. My dad was one that didn't really talk about religion, but I knew he wasn't saved, and he wouldn't step foot in a church. He was a GOOD man. He was actually my step father, but he was my father in every way that counted. It came much to my surprise that my mom and dad had, together, started going to church. The pastor that presided over the service was the pastor from that church, and he obviously didn't know my dad too well yet, but he spoke well of him. But still, one can attend church every Sunday and not be truly saved.

A few weeks after the funeral, I was talking with my mom. She mentioned that dad had told Grandma Pearl (his mom) that he had been saved-just a few weeks before he died. Dad was a truck driver, and a lot of the big truck stops have non-denominational Sunday services, which dad had apparently been attending. I wish I knew where he'd been, because I'd like to find the pastor that finally opened the door for him, and give him a gigantic hug. When Dad died, it was his THIRD heart attack. I'm thinking God really wanted him in Heaven.

Anyway, I digress. Notice I do that alot? There I go, digressing again. Anyway...giving it up to God.

I have a hard time with this. Part of it was being a non-Christian. Part of it was having to be so self reliant most of my life. I was not really ever in a position for someone to help me if things went wrong. And a lot went wrong. Not hugely wrong, just the type of wrong that comes in dribs and drabs and eventually starts to pile up, like dog poo in the back yard.

So now, that I'm a Christian, I have a hard time giving things up to God. Surrendering to His almighty will. Just simply letting go. I have periods of time where I can do it, and periods where it just doesn't happen. So I"ve been sitting here trying to figure out why.

I've been reading Laine's Letters. That reminds me, I need to add that site to the links. Oooh, digressing again. There was a letter there about dying to self. Having a servant attitude. Ultimately, we all serve Him, but we also have to have the attitude to be a servant to others. To gain this attitude, we must do away with pride.

PRIDE! DUH! There is my issue. Because I've had to handle so much on my own (because I chose to, rather than coming to God), I still believe that I am the one best suited to handle things. I need to overcome my pride to be able to surrender to God's mercies.

But that brings up several questions, the first and foremost being, how does one overcome pride? By repenting it, of course...which brings us right back round to the original issue, right? Well, not necessarily. I found this great devotional which really brings the issue home. All I need to do is suppress my pride. I have to CHOOSE not to be prideful. It, like most other things in my life, is an ongoing struggle. It requires a change in thinking and a change in attitude, but I must train myself to do this. It will not happen on its own. There won't be some glorious lifting of pride from my heart and mind. It will take hard work on my part, including some leaning on God.

But by training myself to be less prideful, I will be much more willing to Give It Up To God. By realizing that the things in my life aren't done by me, aren't influenced by me, aren't ordained by my hand, surrendering will start to come naturally. Living my life in Surrender to God will be the way I live, not the way I know I should live. God brought me here, God will walk with me to the end, and be there every step along the way. I need to discard my pride and simply let Him lead.

So my prayers tonight will include a plea for God's help in discarding my pride, and letting him direct my life. Thank you, Almighty Father, for showing me the way!