A few weeks back we got a new firefighter. She's a really sweet girl (I shouldn't call her a girl, she's only 5 years younger than me) and has all kinds of firefighting experience.
She's a substitute teacher, so I took her over to the school and introduced her around there; hopefully she'll get some work from that. She's been at the station quite a bit learning the trucks and doing her S130/190 recertification. She invited us over to have a cook out with her and her fiance yesterday.
We had an awesome time over hamburgers, hot dogs and BBQ chicken. Found out they read like we do, so we have someone new to trade books with. Told them all about the used book store in Walsenburg. Might be able to turn her into a shopping buddy, too. I would like that, I think Larry gets tired of driving me around everywhere. But someone else who shops like I do would understand! I know she coupons, so we're probably good to go.
The kids had a blast running around in their fenced yard. Aimee and Saren had a wrestling match-I think Larry is relieved that Saren is finally big enough to give Aimee a run for her money-since she's big enough and Larry is old enough that he's usually hurting after they have a go at each other-although they both sleep really well!
Showing posts with label Mothering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mothering. Show all posts
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Aria and baths
Aria hates baths. I mean, screaming fit hates them. Oh, she'll get in easily enough, but if there's a loud noise while she's in there, or she splashes herself, or the dog walks through a doorway three rooms away, she screams. It's always a battle.
Consequently, bathing her is one of my least favorite things to do, and I don't do it as often as I should. Last night I decided to bathe her and Roan together. Again, something I don't normally do, because Roan likes to really play in the tub, which usually means Aria gets splashed. But it was already creeping up on bedtime so I was in a hurry. The play part went well, actually. The washing part went it's usual way, which is not so good, but it could have been worse. I stayed relatively dry.
Since I had cleaned out the bathroom cabinet, and found the baby lotion, we did lotion after their baths. And Aria LOVED it. Whether it was the massage element, or the feeling of the lotion, or the bonding with mom, I don't know, but she LOVED it. So now I have a bribe. "After your bath, we can do lotion."
I'm a bad mommy.
Consequently, bathing her is one of my least favorite things to do, and I don't do it as often as I should. Last night I decided to bathe her and Roan together. Again, something I don't normally do, because Roan likes to really play in the tub, which usually means Aria gets splashed. But it was already creeping up on bedtime so I was in a hurry. The play part went well, actually. The washing part went it's usual way, which is not so good, but it could have been worse. I stayed relatively dry.
Since I had cleaned out the bathroom cabinet, and found the baby lotion, we did lotion after their baths. And Aria LOVED it. Whether it was the massage element, or the feeling of the lotion, or the bonding with mom, I don't know, but she LOVED it. So now I have a bribe. "After your bath, we can do lotion."
I'm a bad mommy.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Large Families
Those of you that have truly large families will laugh at the size of my large family. We have five children. Those of you that read me know this. In "society", I guess is how to put it, we have a large family. We get those looks that you're familiar with if you have a large family. I can only imagine how many more we would get if/when we have more children.
Living in a primarily Catholic community, though, I probably get less of those looks than a lot of large families. We get a lot of little old ladies telling us what a blessing our children are (to which we heartily agree, and give thanks!), and more, mostly women, commenting on what lovingly full hands we must have. I do love those comments. Lovingly full is good.
We do get some negatives. We took Aimee in for her school physical a few years back, and we decided to try a new doc. Ours had taken another position at a private company. Anyway, most families here go to a doc in Pueblo that we're really not comfortable with. They have the "assembly line" approach to doctor's visits. Come in, spend five minutes with an anonymous doc cause they have so many that you never see the same one twice, even if you request a specific one, and then say something quick about growth rates and eating habits, and then lecture for the remaining 2.5 minutes about vaccinations.
So, anyway, we go through the phone book. It's a school physical, really can't be screwed up, and we were in the market for a new doc. So we find a clinic in Walsenburg who's name has something to do with FAMILY. I can't remember the whole name. But family was in there. That tells me they have experience with kidlets and welcome them as patients. So we go. We ALL go. Jessica took us, so add Jamie to the mix. We go in and there are only elderly patients in the waiting room. Not that I have anything against elderly patients, or elderly people, for that matter, but not much FAMILY at the FAMILY doc.
We check in, and go find seats. The kids immediately beeline for the toys, which are mostly broken happy meal rejects. Well, OK, small town, lots of medicaid/medicare, I can understand that. Since my kids don't get happy meals often, even the rejects are new toys for them, so they eagerly play with them, and, being kids, make noise as they play. Cheerful, playing noise. FAMILY noise. Not banshee screeching or war cries or other assorted non-family noises.
We find out the doc is running late. Way late. Now, we scheduled an early appointment so we would have the kids out the door before the wanting lunch and getting tired crabbies set in. You've been there. Kids are hungry and starting to get tired, so their attention span drops to about 3.4 seconds. Had the doc been on time, we'd have been safely home before that happened.
By the time Aimee even got called back for the preliminary stuff, the crabbies are starting to rear their ugly heads. We still haven't progressed to banshee screeching or war cries, but probably another half an hour, at most, is what we would be granted, before we did get to the beginnings of that point. So, being the smart mommies that we are, Jessica and I decided to take the kids out to the van to wait. In the van are snacks, which will at least ward off the hungry crabbies, and no one to bother with the getting tired crabbies. I mean, this is a normal childhood behavior, right? Judging from the children I ran into when I worked the late shift at King Soopers back a bazillion years ago, most children get the tired crabbies. Anyway, I digress (me? noooooooo!). But why does it annoy people so bad when kids get tired and crabby? After all, it wasn't our fault that the doc was late.
Anyway, as we're picking up the happy meal reject toys and gathering our stuff to head out to the van, the receptionist says "Can you please keep your kids quieter?" I say "We're heading out to the van now." She then tells me to take the kids (including a toddler boy and an almost toddler girl) to play in the front yard of the library right behind them. The unfenced yard of the library that fronts the business loop of the highway with a speed limit of 40. That's where I want my kids to play, yup.
Umm...where, exactly, did the doctor's office lose the focus on "family" that is in their very name. If they don't want kids in their office, they should stop billing themselves as a family doctor. Yes, children are loud and sometimes distracting, despite our best efforts. We are training them to be adults, but as anyone knows, training goes roughly in the early days. At the point at which they surpassed normal kid noises, I removed them from the situation.
Am I out of line to think that a family business of any type, should expect that families will consist of young children who will act like, well, young children? It's one thing if my kids are pulling stuff off the shelf at Safeway. It's another altogether if they are making car noises while sitting in the toy car shopping cart.
Let's put it like this: I wouldn't take my kids into an antique store. I wouldn't take my kids into a restaurant that requires reservations. And while I do consider the grocery store to be a family type business, I wouldn't let them pull things off the shelf or scream like banshees. Of course, if I'm there when they're tired, that's on me. I should schedule my day better, so they can be out of there to, well, act like tired children act. But if I do take my kids to the store, and the check out line is an hour long, and the kids are fussing by the time we get to the cashier, well, I've made that effort, and the business needs to understand that. And most businesses that cater to families do.
All children are a blessing. And training is an ongoing task. It requires repetition, and children, being, well, children, will test their boundaries, requiring further training.
Anyway, my intent was not to rant. It was simply to discuss the inequalities that larger families have. That most of the time, aside from a look or a comment that probably wasn't really intended to hurt, that I don't really have to deal with. I was going to talk about the difficulty in our daily walk with God. See, I heard this pastor on the radio today, talking about how people don't struggle to walk with God. They just screw up, then ask for forgiveness again. And that's not how it works. You have to work at it. Now, the walk itself is work. I've talked about my own struggles with submission. Boy, it's hard. And yeah, I do screw up. I'm not perfect. No one is. But I do consciously make the effort to submit to God's will. I mean, in that area, I really have no choice. God's will, will win every time, one way or the other. But one can choose to not be judgemental, or to not gossip, etc. Rather than being so and then asking forgiveness, one has to make the conscious choice to not do it. And trusting God with your fertility is one of those things. One has to make a conscious choice to let God be in charge.
I'll tell you why that scares most people. Kids are expensive. But very rarely do I hear families saying "I can't afford this." Most of the time what I hear are stories of God's provision. I posted a long time ago about "Just enough." And often that's how it works. No, you probably won't be living in a huge house with enough bathrooms and plenty of room and always have the newest bestest this or that. But you will have "just enough." If you only put that faith and trust in God.
K, I'm done now, and so are the dishes, so I'm heading to bed.
Living in a primarily Catholic community, though, I probably get less of those looks than a lot of large families. We get a lot of little old ladies telling us what a blessing our children are (to which we heartily agree, and give thanks!), and more, mostly women, commenting on what lovingly full hands we must have. I do love those comments. Lovingly full is good.
We do get some negatives. We took Aimee in for her school physical a few years back, and we decided to try a new doc. Ours had taken another position at a private company. Anyway, most families here go to a doc in Pueblo that we're really not comfortable with. They have the "assembly line" approach to doctor's visits. Come in, spend five minutes with an anonymous doc cause they have so many that you never see the same one twice, even if you request a specific one, and then say something quick about growth rates and eating habits, and then lecture for the remaining 2.5 minutes about vaccinations.
So, anyway, we go through the phone book. It's a school physical, really can't be screwed up, and we were in the market for a new doc. So we find a clinic in Walsenburg who's name has something to do with FAMILY. I can't remember the whole name. But family was in there. That tells me they have experience with kidlets and welcome them as patients. So we go. We ALL go. Jessica took us, so add Jamie to the mix. We go in and there are only elderly patients in the waiting room. Not that I have anything against elderly patients, or elderly people, for that matter, but not much FAMILY at the FAMILY doc.
We check in, and go find seats. The kids immediately beeline for the toys, which are mostly broken happy meal rejects. Well, OK, small town, lots of medicaid/medicare, I can understand that. Since my kids don't get happy meals often, even the rejects are new toys for them, so they eagerly play with them, and, being kids, make noise as they play. Cheerful, playing noise. FAMILY noise. Not banshee screeching or war cries or other assorted non-family noises.
We find out the doc is running late. Way late. Now, we scheduled an early appointment so we would have the kids out the door before the wanting lunch and getting tired crabbies set in. You've been there. Kids are hungry and starting to get tired, so their attention span drops to about 3.4 seconds. Had the doc been on time, we'd have been safely home before that happened.
By the time Aimee even got called back for the preliminary stuff, the crabbies are starting to rear their ugly heads. We still haven't progressed to banshee screeching or war cries, but probably another half an hour, at most, is what we would be granted, before we did get to the beginnings of that point. So, being the smart mommies that we are, Jessica and I decided to take the kids out to the van to wait. In the van are snacks, which will at least ward off the hungry crabbies, and no one to bother with the getting tired crabbies. I mean, this is a normal childhood behavior, right? Judging from the children I ran into when I worked the late shift at King Soopers back a bazillion years ago, most children get the tired crabbies. Anyway, I digress (me? noooooooo!). But why does it annoy people so bad when kids get tired and crabby? After all, it wasn't our fault that the doc was late.
Anyway, as we're picking up the happy meal reject toys and gathering our stuff to head out to the van, the receptionist says "Can you please keep your kids quieter?" I say "We're heading out to the van now." She then tells me to take the kids (including a toddler boy and an almost toddler girl) to play in the front yard of the library right behind them. The unfenced yard of the library that fronts the business loop of the highway with a speed limit of 40. That's where I want my kids to play, yup.
Umm...where, exactly, did the doctor's office lose the focus on "family" that is in their very name. If they don't want kids in their office, they should stop billing themselves as a family doctor. Yes, children are loud and sometimes distracting, despite our best efforts. We are training them to be adults, but as anyone knows, training goes roughly in the early days. At the point at which they surpassed normal kid noises, I removed them from the situation.
Am I out of line to think that a family business of any type, should expect that families will consist of young children who will act like, well, young children? It's one thing if my kids are pulling stuff off the shelf at Safeway. It's another altogether if they are making car noises while sitting in the toy car shopping cart.
Let's put it like this: I wouldn't take my kids into an antique store. I wouldn't take my kids into a restaurant that requires reservations. And while I do consider the grocery store to be a family type business, I wouldn't let them pull things off the shelf or scream like banshees. Of course, if I'm there when they're tired, that's on me. I should schedule my day better, so they can be out of there to, well, act like tired children act. But if I do take my kids to the store, and the check out line is an hour long, and the kids are fussing by the time we get to the cashier, well, I've made that effort, and the business needs to understand that. And most businesses that cater to families do.
All children are a blessing. And training is an ongoing task. It requires repetition, and children, being, well, children, will test their boundaries, requiring further training.
Anyway, my intent was not to rant. It was simply to discuss the inequalities that larger families have. That most of the time, aside from a look or a comment that probably wasn't really intended to hurt, that I don't really have to deal with. I was going to talk about the difficulty in our daily walk with God. See, I heard this pastor on the radio today, talking about how people don't struggle to walk with God. They just screw up, then ask for forgiveness again. And that's not how it works. You have to work at it. Now, the walk itself is work. I've talked about my own struggles with submission. Boy, it's hard. And yeah, I do screw up. I'm not perfect. No one is. But I do consciously make the effort to submit to God's will. I mean, in that area, I really have no choice. God's will, will win every time, one way or the other. But one can choose to not be judgemental, or to not gossip, etc. Rather than being so and then asking forgiveness, one has to make the conscious choice to not do it. And trusting God with your fertility is one of those things. One has to make a conscious choice to let God be in charge.
I'll tell you why that scares most people. Kids are expensive. But very rarely do I hear families saying "I can't afford this." Most of the time what I hear are stories of God's provision. I posted a long time ago about "Just enough." And often that's how it works. No, you probably won't be living in a huge house with enough bathrooms and plenty of room and always have the newest bestest this or that. But you will have "just enough." If you only put that faith and trust in God.
K, I'm done now, and so are the dishes, so I'm heading to bed.
The hard choices
Found this over on inashoe.com
Sometimes, the choices we face in life are harder than we can even imagine.
http://heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/2009/03/woot.html
Sometimes, the choices we face in life are harder than we can even imagine.
http://heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/2009/03/woot.html
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Things I've Learned This Week
Naptime + Roofers = Fussy Kidlets
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is tempting, no matter what
Roofers make you happy when Friday at 4:00 gets here
You can get a LOT of cleaning done in a messy room with 15 minutes of uninterrupted time
My Dear Husband is so the man
I’m OK with Aimee going off to work for five weeks this summer-which means I’m OK with her growing up. In fact, I’m learning to love the glorious woman that she is becoming. What a joy to see our children transform, before our very eyes, into wonderful, responsible adults
There has been a coup! Nikki is no longer the Drama Queen. Aria has taken over, forcibly wrenching the crown from Nikki’s hands-that’s either a sign of Nikki’s continuing maturity or a sign that Aria is going to be, well, a handful
Trying to clean out the refrigerators before the trash truck gets here is often an exercise in futility
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
You Will Never Be A Perfect Mother
I can post these because they’ve all happened to me. You see, I think we get so caught up in being the “perfect” mother we forget to just find the joy that God makes inherent in being a mother!
Your child will spill koolaid, get grass stains, or pee on the new outfit you bought for THAT REALLY SPECIAL OCCASION five minutes before you are due to arrive.
You will burn some important component of the dinner your husband has asked you to prepare for his boss, your pastor, or an important gathering-and the store will be closed so you can’t get another one.
You will forget that it’s your week to bring snack to the homeschool gathering.
You will fall asleep during the awards ceremony (you’ll only snore if your child is old enough to be absolutely horrified by it).
You will cry at kindergarten graduation because you’re pregnant.
You will cut the patterns for the really pretty skirt, in the last of that fabric, two sizes too small with only boys to hand things down to.
You will forget to buy the ingredients for a birthday dinner.
You will forget to wash the soccer uniform for the make up game that wasn’t on a regular soccer day.
You will struggle…
You will fall…
You will beg God for his mercy…
And while you’re there on your knees, you will find it, given freely, for the taking…
Because you are what God made you-human, fallible, imperfect, sinful, wanting…
And you will find that Perfect Love that God has for you, and you will try to model that love in serving your husband and children…
You will die to self in little steps, small bits at a time, backsliding and running forward…
And you will be confident and strong, the gifts God gives you…
And you will still, never be a perfect mother.
You will have days when you get it all right, and days where nothing goes right. And you will realize, that if we were perfect, we wouldn’t need Him. That part of our mortal journey is to learn how to depend on Him, how to trust Him, how to give it up, to Him. And we’d not have need of any of that if we were perfect.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Winning a small battle in my war against clutter
I have a pantry in our apartment. Have I mentioned how much I loathe this apartment? How badly I can’t wait to move out? OK then, more on that later. Anyway.
I have a pantry in our apartment. As apartment pantries go, it’s huge, probably 8 ft wide and 2 ft deep. It has 4 shelves in it that run the length of the pantry, and then about 3 feet of just space. That just space always ends up being the ummm, “stuff catcher”. There is half a case of Sprite down there that I bought for illness, my sewing machine, 3 packages of ramen noodles, some empty food boxes, etc. I do have the potato bin in there, sheltered from light by the wall (although I will be moving that elsewhere since I got the dryer), and the fan, which, realistically, won’t fit anywhere else. The top shelf is also just a strange gathering of stuff, as I can’t even come close to reaching it. I’m sure Dh has some deep dark secret hidden in there, LOL.
Anyway, that 3 feet of just space down below has always bothered me. I do keep flats of veggies down there, but right now I don’t have enough canned veggies to store down there. I could buy those short bookshelves from WM to put in there, but they don’t hold enough, and I’m not making a set of shelves for it because we’ll be moving as soon as humanly possible. So what do I do with that space?
Well, I’ve also been buying those re-usable shopping bags from WM. I figure we go through, at minimum, 500 grocery sacks a year. Using those shopping bags is cheap (they’re $1.00 each) and will save thousands of grocery bags over the years that we use them. The problem is, I’ve found all kinds of nifty uses for them around the house. My sewing is in one, I used them when we had to evac, and on and on. Well, I just found another nifty use. They very neatly hold several pounds of food, which I can then stack, something like cans on the bottom, then bagged beans or rice, then lighter stuff like TP. I have now probably almost doubled the storage space in my pantry! And, at $1.00 apiece, I can pick up 5 a week, use some for shopping and some around the house. Ooooh I just have to love that. I’m thinking I may be able to figure out a way to use them on those top shelves of the closets that I can’t reach-leave the handles hanging over so I can pull them down. I could store extra light stuff in them, like paper goods or next size up socks or undies when I find them on clearance. I am so determined to get rid of the clutter in this house!
Thanks for reading!
In Him,
MTW
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
So What Is A Modern Traditional Wife, Anyway?
Well, that is a good question!
Here’s my take on the matter:
First and foremost, she has a healthy relationship with God. Maybe she hasn’t always, but she does now.
She also has a healthy relationship with her husband. In fact, she would probably consider herself submissive to her husband. Now, I don’t mean submissive in that “I’m weak, please do whatever you want to me because it’s not my place to stick up for myself or my children” kind of way, or in that (ahem) other kind of way that always seems to show up when you google “Wifely submission”. What I mean is that her husband is, in all respects, the man of the family. While he may not make all the decisions, and he may not make any major decisions without talking to her about it (and probably praying a lot, too), he is the Head of the family. She submits to him in subtle, meaningful ways, that raise up his standing to the children and in the community. She may, in most things, stand on an even level with him-for example, my husband considers us partners. But in our partnership, we both have responsibilities, and as his are far greater than mine could ever be, I do what I can to make his life easier.
She usually has children, or wants them. Mothering is an important part of her identity.
She is often college educated, but stays at home to care for her husband and children. I have worked, but I don’t any longer.
She is frugal, often by necessity. Living in today’s society on one stable income, is difficult. She may bring in some money with a bit of cottage industry, but it’s usually not a constant, so she has had to learn to budget for everything.
She isn’t a perfect wife or mother, although sometimes she struggles with feeling like she should be (more on THAT in a later post or twelve!).
She is more than content, she is happy in her role as helpmeet to her husband, mother to her children, keeper of her home. That’s not to say she walks through life with a Stepford like smile on her face, with fresh baked cookies at the ready, able to whip up gourmet meals or mudpies without getting her apron soiled. She is capable of thinking for herself, forgets to buy stuff at the store, is sometimes too tired for sex, and still needs a good cry once in awhile. Not because she’s sad, but because that’s the way we’re wired. She faces trials and challenges, disappointment and struggle, and not always with a smile on her face. But she does face them, head on, because she has a quiet strength inside that comes from many places-her relationships with God and her husband, her friends and her children. Her desire to take care of her family, and her own self worth. She also has joys beyond count, rewards beyond measure, and hugs to share.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Cast of Chracters
Above: Front Row of the fully loaded van-Roan, Nikki, Aria
Back Row of the Fully Loaded Van-Aimee, Saren, Jamie
Where to start?
At the beginning, I suppose, with introductions all around.
I’m Keisha, a 35 year old wife and mother. My family and I live in a small town in Southern Colorado with a population of about 650. We are a zero stoplight town, although we do have multiple stop signs. I am chronically tired. Of course, I’m pretty sure that I haven’t slept through until the alarm went off more than three nights in a row for the past three years. I bet, if you’re reading this blog, that you can relate!
My DH is Larry, he’s 42. He’s currently going to school to be a lineman. He’s at the top of his class, and I’m really proud of him. We’re hoping that he’ll get hired locally as a groundsman with the electric co-op when he graduates. He’ll move up to being a lineman after serving an apprenticeship.
Oldest DD is Aimee, she’s 16. She plays lots of sports, dyes her hair burgundy red, paints her fingernails black and only wears jeans. Every single day she is a source of joy for us.
Our oldest DS is Wayne, he’s 14. He’s Larry’s son from his previous marriage, lives with his mom. We don’t get to see him very often, and we miss him and love him every single day.
Next on the list is Saren, our 9 year old DS. He’s a bit of a different breed, but different seems to be the way of things in this family. He’s growing like a weed, up three pants sizes in the last year!
Then we have Nikki, a 7 year old girlie girl to the core! She’ll be the one who’ll take an hour to get ready, once she truly discovers boys. She’s a smart girl, and is learning to give as good as she gets!
Next on our list is Roan, he’s 2. He’s wickedly cute, with eyes that are going to cause some broken hearts someday. He loves Legos and cars, but isn’t averse to playing dolls with the girls.
And last on our list of biologicals is Aria. She just turned 1. She’s an explorer, and despite my efforts to the contrary, very definitely spoiled!
Our cast of characters (and boy, are they characters!) also includes what I call “Add On Kids”. I didn’t birth them, but I feed them, hug them when they cry, yell at them when they screw up, and love them as if they were mine.
First there’s Laura, Aimee’s 15 year old best friend. She’s not around as much as she used to be, but I still love her just the same.
Then there’s Big Jessica, she’s 23 and introduced me at church as her “Other Mom”. She’s a single mom and spends a lot of time hanging out here.
Jamie, 4, is Jessica’s daughter. We babysit her quite a bit. She’s very willful, and I’m hoping that will evolve into a quiet strength as she grows up, instead of going the other way. She’s a source of both frustration and hours of laughter.
Little Jessica is 21 and developmentally delayed. She lives in our apartment complex with her mom, and spends quite a bit of time with us when mom is working or she wants to hang around with the kids. She has a love of life that sometimes leaves me speechless!
Well I think that’s it for our little group. Hope you enjoyed meeting them!
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