Frugal Money: Getting your kids involved

So it's all well and good to have this really comprehensive needs list designed to save your family money on clothing purchases, but if your kids won't wear used or lesser name brand clothes, it does no good, right?

Several years ago, we lived for awhile with friends. We needed help, she needed help, and it benefitted everyone all around. While we were there, my friend's granddaughter came to stay with us. As money was tight all around, I included her in my TS shopping so that she'd have some good clothes. I bought clothes for her for a year at the TS before I actually took her with me to the TS.

I'm doing kind of a speed browse, because we are there killing time before a dentist appointment. I pull out a pair of jeans and ask her if she likes them. She replies that they're cute, so I tell her to take them to her grandma to see if she'll get them, or else I will. She looks at me with a horrified look on her face and says "But they're....used!" I said "Honey, we will wash them before you wear them." She's still not convinced. So I tell her that every bit of clothing that I have bought her, has been used. I give specific examples of clothes that she's absolutely loved. I tell her that we can't afford to buy her new clothes at Old Navy like her mom had been doing, and that her mom couldn't afford to right now, either. Finally, she starts to get it. Of course, she was younger than 10, so it was a bit easier going.

And, at that age, had I needed to, I'd have simply said "Look...these are good clothes, in good shape, and it's what I can afford. You'll wear it or go naked." I am, after all, the parent. Older children, however, can be a challenge if you've been buying them current brands all this time.

So how does one resolve this issue? Well, first of all, you are the parent. You are buying the clothes, you choose where your money is spent. But if you try to just steamroll them into it, you may find yourself washing the same three pair of Gap jeans over and over again because that's all they will wear.

If they are old enough to understand money (and if they're old enough to fight you about their clothes, they are old enough for at least a general understanding of money), sit them down and have an "adult" talk with them. Explain to them that the prices of everything are on the rise, so you're going to have to do some trimming of their clothes budget (make sure they understand that everyone will be affected by this, not just them), and you need their help. You need them to understand that you're not going to send them off to school in parachute pants from 1985, but that you will need to start buying a lot of their clothing at the TS or on ebay or target or where ever. If they are resistant to this, tell them you will be going shopping together this weekend. Start your shopping trip by going to the mall. Look through their favorite stores and price what they want. If you have a laptop, take it with you, go to the food court and grab a snack, and sit down and look on ebay or ecrater for the exact brands you've just been looking at. Let them compare prices. Then, go to the thrift store. If you can find those exact brands, you're in an awesome situation to say "Look, here's a T-Shirt from Abercrombie for $3.00, instead of the $15.00 it was there." Find a pair of jeans in the same style, if not the same brand, as what your child likes, and have them try it on. Make sure they are in great shape. If you have to go to a few thrift stores, and you can, then do that. Remember, the less resistance, the better. And if you don't find anything, make it a fun trip anyway. Look through the "vintage" leisure suits and just plain old shoes, and laugh a bit. This is a good way to get in some quality one on one parent and child time. Grab something to drink and tell them that Thrift Stores can be hit or miss but promise that you'll never buy them that lime green, orange and blue shirt you found together and laughed over. Offer to take them again soon.

If that flat out doesn't work, try this. The next large clothing buying season you have, like back to school time, hand them their entire year's clothing budget, in cash, if you can. Tell them that you understand that they don't like what you've offered, so they are on their own. Tell them that they have to use that money to get all of their clothes for the next year. They must wear what they buy and you will only supplement for growth or at Christmas and birthdays. If they can only afford one pair of jeans from the expensive store, then that is all that they will have. Call any grandparents or other friends/relatives who routinely buy them clothes and make sure they are in on the plan, so your kiddo doesn't call Aunt Susie and ask for help. Tell them they can only supplement their clothes budget from money they earn working, or from selling their old clothes (offer to help them list them on ebay). Be firm, and a bit patient. But stick to your guns! When they come to you whining, let them know that you made the offer to shop the way you could afford to, but that they were convinced they could do it better, and now they have to live with the consequences of their actions.

You are the parent, you are the one in charge. Sometimes, you just have to be creative!

Have a wonderful day!