Yes, I do menus a month at a time. I actually did a rough yearly one once, to estimate meat usage. It really helped a lot to know how much to buy at a sale!
1 Quesadillas
2 Pumpkin Bread
3 Cereal
4 Biscuits and Gravy and Sausage
5 Bagels and Cream Cheese
6 Oatmeal
7 Pancakes
8 Cinnamon Toast, Apples
9 Cereal
10 Banana Bread
11Bacon and Eggs
12 Malt O Meal
13 Qusadillas
13 French Toast
14 English Muffins
16 Cereal
17 Cinnamon Toast, Apples
18 Scrambled Eggs and Ham
19 Cereal
20 Quesadillas
21 Biscuits and Honey, mixed fruit
22 Bagels and Cream Cheese
23 Pumpkin Bread
24 Oatmeal
25 Biscuits and Gravy and Sausage
26 Cereal
27 Muffins
28 French Toast
29 quesadillas
30 Banana bread
31 Cereal
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Frugal Money: Getting your kids involved
So it's all well and good to have this really comprehensive needs list designed to save your family money on clothing purchases, but if your kids won't wear used or lesser name brand clothes, it does no good, right?
Several years ago, we lived for awhile with friends. We needed help, she needed help, and it benefitted everyone all around. While we were there, my friend's granddaughter came to stay with us. As money was tight all around, I included her in my TS shopping so that she'd have some good clothes. I bought clothes for her for a year at the TS before I actually took her with me to the TS.
I'm doing kind of a speed browse, because we are there killing time before a dentist appointment. I pull out a pair of jeans and ask her if she likes them. She replies that they're cute, so I tell her to take them to her grandma to see if she'll get them, or else I will. She looks at me with a horrified look on her face and says "But they're....used!" I said "Honey, we will wash them before you wear them." She's still not convinced. So I tell her that every bit of clothing that I have bought her, has been used. I give specific examples of clothes that she's absolutely loved. I tell her that we can't afford to buy her new clothes at Old Navy like her mom had been doing, and that her mom couldn't afford to right now, either. Finally, she starts to get it. Of course, she was younger than 10, so it was a bit easier going.
And, at that age, had I needed to, I'd have simply said "Look...these are good clothes, in good shape, and it's what I can afford. You'll wear it or go naked." I am, after all, the parent. Older children, however, can be a challenge if you've been buying them current brands all this time.
So how does one resolve this issue? Well, first of all, you are the parent. You are buying the clothes, you choose where your money is spent. But if you try to just steamroll them into it, you may find yourself washing the same three pair of Gap jeans over and over again because that's all they will wear.
If they are old enough to understand money (and if they're old enough to fight you about their clothes, they are old enough for at least a general understanding of money), sit them down and have an "adult" talk with them. Explain to them that the prices of everything are on the rise, so you're going to have to do some trimming of their clothes budget (make sure they understand that everyone will be affected by this, not just them), and you need their help. You need them to understand that you're not going to send them off to school in parachute pants from 1985, but that you will need to start buying a lot of their clothing at the TS or on ebay or target or where ever. If they are resistant to this, tell them you will be going shopping together this weekend. Start your shopping trip by going to the mall. Look through their favorite stores and price what they want. If you have a laptop, take it with you, go to the food court and grab a snack, and sit down and look on ebay or ecrater for the exact brands you've just been looking at. Let them compare prices. Then, go to the thrift store. If you can find those exact brands, you're in an awesome situation to say "Look, here's a T-Shirt from Abercrombie for $3.00, instead of the $15.00 it was there." Find a pair of jeans in the same style, if not the same brand, as what your child likes, and have them try it on. Make sure they are in great shape. If you have to go to a few thrift stores, and you can, then do that. Remember, the less resistance, the better. And if you don't find anything, make it a fun trip anyway. Look through the "vintage" leisure suits and just plain old shoes, and laugh a bit. This is a good way to get in some quality one on one parent and child time. Grab something to drink and tell them that Thrift Stores can be hit or miss but promise that you'll never buy them that lime green, orange and blue shirt you found together and laughed over. Offer to take them again soon.
If that flat out doesn't work, try this. The next large clothing buying season you have, like back to school time, hand them their entire year's clothing budget, in cash, if you can. Tell them that you understand that they don't like what you've offered, so they are on their own. Tell them that they have to use that money to get all of their clothes for the next year. They must wear what they buy and you will only supplement for growth or at Christmas and birthdays. If they can only afford one pair of jeans from the expensive store, then that is all that they will have. Call any grandparents or other friends/relatives who routinely buy them clothes and make sure they are in on the plan, so your kiddo doesn't call Aunt Susie and ask for help. Tell them they can only supplement their clothes budget from money they earn working, or from selling their old clothes (offer to help them list them on ebay). Be firm, and a bit patient. But stick to your guns! When they come to you whining, let them know that you made the offer to shop the way you could afford to, but that they were convinced they could do it better, and now they have to live with the consequences of their actions.
You are the parent, you are the one in charge. Sometimes, you just have to be creative!
Have a wonderful day!
Several years ago, we lived for awhile with friends. We needed help, she needed help, and it benefitted everyone all around. While we were there, my friend's granddaughter came to stay with us. As money was tight all around, I included her in my TS shopping so that she'd have some good clothes. I bought clothes for her for a year at the TS before I actually took her with me to the TS.
I'm doing kind of a speed browse, because we are there killing time before a dentist appointment. I pull out a pair of jeans and ask her if she likes them. She replies that they're cute, so I tell her to take them to her grandma to see if she'll get them, or else I will. She looks at me with a horrified look on her face and says "But they're....used!" I said "Honey, we will wash them before you wear them." She's still not convinced. So I tell her that every bit of clothing that I have bought her, has been used. I give specific examples of clothes that she's absolutely loved. I tell her that we can't afford to buy her new clothes at Old Navy like her mom had been doing, and that her mom couldn't afford to right now, either. Finally, she starts to get it. Of course, she was younger than 10, so it was a bit easier going.
And, at that age, had I needed to, I'd have simply said "Look...these are good clothes, in good shape, and it's what I can afford. You'll wear it or go naked." I am, after all, the parent. Older children, however, can be a challenge if you've been buying them current brands all this time.
So how does one resolve this issue? Well, first of all, you are the parent. You are buying the clothes, you choose where your money is spent. But if you try to just steamroll them into it, you may find yourself washing the same three pair of Gap jeans over and over again because that's all they will wear.
If they are old enough to understand money (and if they're old enough to fight you about their clothes, they are old enough for at least a general understanding of money), sit them down and have an "adult" talk with them. Explain to them that the prices of everything are on the rise, so you're going to have to do some trimming of their clothes budget (make sure they understand that everyone will be affected by this, not just them), and you need their help. You need them to understand that you're not going to send them off to school in parachute pants from 1985, but that you will need to start buying a lot of their clothing at the TS or on ebay or target or where ever. If they are resistant to this, tell them you will be going shopping together this weekend. Start your shopping trip by going to the mall. Look through their favorite stores and price what they want. If you have a laptop, take it with you, go to the food court and grab a snack, and sit down and look on ebay or ecrater for the exact brands you've just been looking at. Let them compare prices. Then, go to the thrift store. If you can find those exact brands, you're in an awesome situation to say "Look, here's a T-Shirt from Abercrombie for $3.00, instead of the $15.00 it was there." Find a pair of jeans in the same style, if not the same brand, as what your child likes, and have them try it on. Make sure they are in great shape. If you have to go to a few thrift stores, and you can, then do that. Remember, the less resistance, the better. And if you don't find anything, make it a fun trip anyway. Look through the "vintage" leisure suits and just plain old shoes, and laugh a bit. This is a good way to get in some quality one on one parent and child time. Grab something to drink and tell them that Thrift Stores can be hit or miss but promise that you'll never buy them that lime green, orange and blue shirt you found together and laughed over. Offer to take them again soon.
If that flat out doesn't work, try this. The next large clothing buying season you have, like back to school time, hand them their entire year's clothing budget, in cash, if you can. Tell them that you understand that they don't like what you've offered, so they are on their own. Tell them that they have to use that money to get all of their clothes for the next year. They must wear what they buy and you will only supplement for growth or at Christmas and birthdays. If they can only afford one pair of jeans from the expensive store, then that is all that they will have. Call any grandparents or other friends/relatives who routinely buy them clothes and make sure they are in on the plan, so your kiddo doesn't call Aunt Susie and ask for help. Tell them they can only supplement their clothes budget from money they earn working, or from selling their old clothes (offer to help them list them on ebay). Be firm, and a bit patient. But stick to your guns! When they come to you whining, let them know that you made the offer to shop the way you could afford to, but that they were convinced they could do it better, and now they have to live with the consequences of their actions.
You are the parent, you are the one in charge. Sometimes, you just have to be creative!
Have a wonderful day!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Frugal Money: Putting together a "Needs List"
With garage sale (GS) season coming, it's a good idea to put together your "Needs List" A needs list is just that-a list of stuff you need that you will probably be able to find cheaper at GS, Thrift Store (TS), or online auction venues such as ebay or ecrater.com. Now, before you can do this, it's also a good idea to know what you have in storage, especially for clothes.
I have roughly 15 of the big bins of clothes in storage. They range in size from 18 months to size 18 in kids. Nothing is in storage for those who have stopped growing-myself, Larry and Aimee. These just go into the closets. They may not get worn for awhile, but they are there when needed. So when a pair of pants gets a hole in it, they are put in a donation bag, and there is a replacement pair for them already in the closet.
Let me digress a second. Do NOT put your ragged clothes in the trash. Salvation Army, and probably other large charity thrift stores, can use torn or stained clothes. Unsalable items, called rag, are baled and sold to companies that make carpet padding. So while purchasing used clothes is definitely recycling, donating your rag will help these charities while also keeping "stuff" out of the landfill. I KNOW SA does it, not sure about the others. A smaller thrift, however, such as a church run one, doesn't have the resources for this. Here's how I sort my donations:
10% of what I buy for resale is donated to my local emergency clothes pantry. They GIVE clothes to people who need them. It's church run, so it's part of our family's tithe. They also get stuff that I come across that may not be saleable (bad size, frayed hem but doesn't fit one of our kiddoes, etc) but that is still perfectly usable. Rag, and stuff that won't get used here or that would sit for too long (prom dress, most career wear) goes up to SA. We go up to SA about once a month in April-October to drop that stuff off, and the clothes pantry gets seasonal donations as they don't have storage. In July they get back to school stuff, October is winter and March is spring/summer.
OK, back to your needs list. If you keep clothes in storage, you need some sort of inventory. Mine is pretty simple, I think, just a word doc formatted as a table with Size, Number and Description heads. So it would look something like 18 mos, 5, girls pants, for 5 pair of 18 mos. pants. I can also have two copies. One a large master list that goes into the household notebook, the other a smaller list that goes on the outside of a given bin, so that when I have to go through them due to growth instead of season change, I know which bins I can avoid.
If you have space considerations, decide how much of what you will save. You may only be able to store the next size up, or the next season, and that's OK. Every piece bought now, at a GS, TS or on clearance saves you buying it for full price when you need it. As I buy clothes, they go into a bin and are marked on the two inventory sheets. A few days ago a friend came buy with a huge bag of clothes. I went through them, pulled out what I can use now, separated the rag, rebagged what is too small to fit anyone so that I can share them with someone else, and then put the rest into a bin. A lot of them were winter size 18 mos. girls clothes, just what I should be needing for Aria this coming winter, so it was definitely a score, although now I need to buy more bins LOL.
Here's what I keep in storage
Aria (currently in 12-18 mos summer clothes) up to size 5
Roan (currently in 3T-4T tops and 2T bottoms) up to size 7
Nikki (currently in size 7) up to size 14
Saren (currently in size 14) anything I can get my hands on
So when I do my needs list, for those four kids, it is within those size boundaries. So when I find a great sale at the TS like I did last week, I know that Aria doesn't need anymore size 4 anything, so I can skip those.
Also on my needs list are what I need for those of us who've stopped growing. Like DH always needs Large TShirts. Aimee can always use size 12 jeans. So those are on the needs list as well.
I also have a household needs list. I need a blender, canning jars, bookshelves, etc. So I have a household needs list and a clothing needs list. It definitely helps to keep my shopping organized.
So, what happens when I buy something that a child ends up not wearing because they weren't the right size in the right season? I will tell you that it is very rare that I end up in that situation. Once kids get to be about 3, they will usually be in a size for about a year. Now, if you put the 3 year old in 4T pants, he may need a belt or some cuffing of the hem in the beginning, but you should be able to get use out of most of what you buy. Anything I didn't use either gets donated or sold at the clothing sales I do.
Now, because I have this needs list in play, even if I end up donating the clothes, I am not out a lot of money. I do probably 90% of my clothes shopping on clearance, on ebay, at TS or GS. Because I am buying ahead, I buy out of season clothes at much cheaper prices than I would pay for them used. I am able to choose items that show little wear (hopefully not even looking "used") because I don't need them right now, which is the key. Last month, I got about 40 pairs of denim shorts for the boys for an average price of $2.00 each, brand new on clearance. They were getting rid of last year's stuff before they put this year's stuff out. Now, some of those won't be worn for quite awhile, but I still ONLY paid $2.00 each, instead of $8.00 or $10.00 or more. I knew which sizes to buy, because of the needs list. Yesterday I picked up an organic shirt for Saren that he won't wear until probably next winter, for $3.00. Some days have bigger scores than others LOL. Last week I hit a TS and they were having an unannounced sale on kids clothes. Took home probably 50 pieces of clothing, plus some books, for $40. Not everything I got was on sale, but still, it was the TS, so I was getting a good price anyway. Once a week on ebay I go through my needs list and search for the items on it. If I can snipe a lot for a good price, I go for it. I once got a lot of baby clothes on ebay for one penny, plus shipping.
My clothing needs list is broken into three categories:
Immediate need, printed in red. Might have to buy this stuff new, at full price. For awhile, because Saren gained about 3 inches overnight, size 14 jeans were on there. I think I ended up buying 3 of his 10 pair at full price.
Priority, printed in black. Next size up that I don't have enough of. Again, Saren's size 16's are on there. That's the first place I go in the TS and clearance rack, and I'll bid those higher on ebay. Because boys are so rough on their clothes, those are harder to find, and his yearly clothes budget is higher to compensate for that.
Non-priority, printed in green. That is for the sizes that are a few sizes ahead that I will need, like size 10 for Nikki. If I find those at an incredible price, I get them. I may only get a few pieces of those per month, but that's OK, cause I can build it up slowly like that.
There are, of course, two clothes items that I will only buy new: socks and underwear. Now socks, given to me by trusted people, I will use, used, but undies, never. I still, however, will try to find these items on clearance for bigger savings.
Of course, it's always helpful to have a budget and buy price in mind, too. For example, my goal is to keep jeans under an average price of $5.00 each for Saren. So if I want him to have 10 pairs of jeans, and I score six of those for $1.00 at a church thrift, that leaves me $44.00 for 4 more pair. I can then spend more on those, and it doesn't hurt nearly as bad when I have to buy a few new, or pay higher prices at different thrifts or at ebay (always keep postage in mind when bidding on ebay).
Future frugal money posts will have grocery tips and more TS/GS/Ebay tips for you. I know, especially in this time of financial instability, to share what I know about living on a very tight budget! If you have any questions, just post a comment and I will answer in a future blog entry.
Have a great day!
I have roughly 15 of the big bins of clothes in storage. They range in size from 18 months to size 18 in kids. Nothing is in storage for those who have stopped growing-myself, Larry and Aimee. These just go into the closets. They may not get worn for awhile, but they are there when needed. So when a pair of pants gets a hole in it, they are put in a donation bag, and there is a replacement pair for them already in the closet.
Let me digress a second. Do NOT put your ragged clothes in the trash. Salvation Army, and probably other large charity thrift stores, can use torn or stained clothes. Unsalable items, called rag, are baled and sold to companies that make carpet padding. So while purchasing used clothes is definitely recycling, donating your rag will help these charities while also keeping "stuff" out of the landfill. I KNOW SA does it, not sure about the others. A smaller thrift, however, such as a church run one, doesn't have the resources for this. Here's how I sort my donations:
10% of what I buy for resale is donated to my local emergency clothes pantry. They GIVE clothes to people who need them. It's church run, so it's part of our family's tithe. They also get stuff that I come across that may not be saleable (bad size, frayed hem but doesn't fit one of our kiddoes, etc) but that is still perfectly usable. Rag, and stuff that won't get used here or that would sit for too long (prom dress, most career wear) goes up to SA. We go up to SA about once a month in April-October to drop that stuff off, and the clothes pantry gets seasonal donations as they don't have storage. In July they get back to school stuff, October is winter and March is spring/summer.
OK, back to your needs list. If you keep clothes in storage, you need some sort of inventory. Mine is pretty simple, I think, just a word doc formatted as a table with Size, Number and Description heads. So it would look something like 18 mos, 5, girls pants, for 5 pair of 18 mos. pants. I can also have two copies. One a large master list that goes into the household notebook, the other a smaller list that goes on the outside of a given bin, so that when I have to go through them due to growth instead of season change, I know which bins I can avoid.
If you have space considerations, decide how much of what you will save. You may only be able to store the next size up, or the next season, and that's OK. Every piece bought now, at a GS, TS or on clearance saves you buying it for full price when you need it. As I buy clothes, they go into a bin and are marked on the two inventory sheets. A few days ago a friend came buy with a huge bag of clothes. I went through them, pulled out what I can use now, separated the rag, rebagged what is too small to fit anyone so that I can share them with someone else, and then put the rest into a bin. A lot of them were winter size 18 mos. girls clothes, just what I should be needing for Aria this coming winter, so it was definitely a score, although now I need to buy more bins LOL.
Here's what I keep in storage
Aria (currently in 12-18 mos summer clothes) up to size 5
Roan (currently in 3T-4T tops and 2T bottoms) up to size 7
Nikki (currently in size 7) up to size 14
Saren (currently in size 14) anything I can get my hands on
So when I do my needs list, for those four kids, it is within those size boundaries. So when I find a great sale at the TS like I did last week, I know that Aria doesn't need anymore size 4 anything, so I can skip those.
Also on my needs list are what I need for those of us who've stopped growing. Like DH always needs Large TShirts. Aimee can always use size 12 jeans. So those are on the needs list as well.
I also have a household needs list. I need a blender, canning jars, bookshelves, etc. So I have a household needs list and a clothing needs list. It definitely helps to keep my shopping organized.
So, what happens when I buy something that a child ends up not wearing because they weren't the right size in the right season? I will tell you that it is very rare that I end up in that situation. Once kids get to be about 3, they will usually be in a size for about a year. Now, if you put the 3 year old in 4T pants, he may need a belt or some cuffing of the hem in the beginning, but you should be able to get use out of most of what you buy. Anything I didn't use either gets donated or sold at the clothing sales I do.
Now, because I have this needs list in play, even if I end up donating the clothes, I am not out a lot of money. I do probably 90% of my clothes shopping on clearance, on ebay, at TS or GS. Because I am buying ahead, I buy out of season clothes at much cheaper prices than I would pay for them used. I am able to choose items that show little wear (hopefully not even looking "used") because I don't need them right now, which is the key. Last month, I got about 40 pairs of denim shorts for the boys for an average price of $2.00 each, brand new on clearance. They were getting rid of last year's stuff before they put this year's stuff out. Now, some of those won't be worn for quite awhile, but I still ONLY paid $2.00 each, instead of $8.00 or $10.00 or more. I knew which sizes to buy, because of the needs list. Yesterday I picked up an organic shirt for Saren that he won't wear until probably next winter, for $3.00. Some days have bigger scores than others LOL. Last week I hit a TS and they were having an unannounced sale on kids clothes. Took home probably 50 pieces of clothing, plus some books, for $40. Not everything I got was on sale, but still, it was the TS, so I was getting a good price anyway. Once a week on ebay I go through my needs list and search for the items on it. If I can snipe a lot for a good price, I go for it. I once got a lot of baby clothes on ebay for one penny, plus shipping.
My clothing needs list is broken into three categories:
Immediate need, printed in red. Might have to buy this stuff new, at full price. For awhile, because Saren gained about 3 inches overnight, size 14 jeans were on there. I think I ended up buying 3 of his 10 pair at full price.
Priority, printed in black. Next size up that I don't have enough of. Again, Saren's size 16's are on there. That's the first place I go in the TS and clearance rack, and I'll bid those higher on ebay. Because boys are so rough on their clothes, those are harder to find, and his yearly clothes budget is higher to compensate for that.
Non-priority, printed in green. That is for the sizes that are a few sizes ahead that I will need, like size 10 for Nikki. If I find those at an incredible price, I get them. I may only get a few pieces of those per month, but that's OK, cause I can build it up slowly like that.
There are, of course, two clothes items that I will only buy new: socks and underwear. Now socks, given to me by trusted people, I will use, used, but undies, never. I still, however, will try to find these items on clearance for bigger savings.
Of course, it's always helpful to have a budget and buy price in mind, too. For example, my goal is to keep jeans under an average price of $5.00 each for Saren. So if I want him to have 10 pairs of jeans, and I score six of those for $1.00 at a church thrift, that leaves me $44.00 for 4 more pair. I can then spend more on those, and it doesn't hurt nearly as bad when I have to buy a few new, or pay higher prices at different thrifts or at ebay (always keep postage in mind when bidding on ebay).
Future frugal money posts will have grocery tips and more TS/GS/Ebay tips for you. I know, especially in this time of financial instability, to share what I know about living on a very tight budget! If you have any questions, just post a comment and I will answer in a future blog entry.
Have a great day!
Friday, April 25, 2008
What a week or two!
Of course it was my intention when starting this blog to update it three or four times a week-you can see how well THAT is working out. As a matter of fact, I have several drafts of blogs saved, and none ready LOL. But I do have reasons why...
First, it's soccer season. My 3 oldest kids all play soccer. We have two games every Saturday and then at least one either Monday or Wednesday. Every Saturday morning the city of Trinidad, about 30 minutes down the road from us, becomes soccer crazy. Everywhere you look you see soccer uniforms. At any given moment there can be up to five games going on-which crushes schedules quite a bit when you have multiple kids playing! It's nothing for Larry to drop off me, a little and a middle while he takes Aimee, a little and a middle to another field, then goes and picks us up and takes us to the other field. Poor guy, spends a good deal of his Saturday driving.
Next, Larry is finishing up school. Lots of excitement there, and some night classes involved, too. He graduates May 9.
Then there's Spring Cleaning, something I will be blogging more about later. I got a late start on it, and haven't been able to properly do it in a few years because I was either pregnant or had a little. So, as you can imagine, it's a large task this year.
We've been on Fire Watch, and with Larry being a volunteer firefighter, this always bring an added sense of awareness. Driving to Trinidad can mean a detour for a smoke chase! There was a huge fire a few hours away from us, near Ordway, and two volunteer firefighters were lost. Larry wrestled back and forth about going to the memorial for these two heroes, and ultimately did not go. I think he has a hard time facing his own mortality in the loss of a brother. I have a hard time with these losses, too. It's hard for me to face Larry's mortality.
We've been trying to decide whether or not to homeschool the middles. I haven't talked a lot about this, but they are special needs, but on the other end of the spectrum from someone who is learning disabled. Aimee, my oldest, is a sophomore, and wants to graduate with her class. I can respect that, but if she won't graduate ready to go straight to college, I will homeschool her, too. See, living in a small town, our school doesn't have a lot of funding. The average cost of a house here in town is less than $120,000, so there isn't a lot of property tax. They also don't have a grantwriter. So they are strapped for cash. Our teachers and aides just got their first raise in SIX years. Saren has already been bumped up a grade, and could probably go to the junior high for math but I don't want him there, he's not socially ready for that. Nikki isn't socially ready to be bumped up but she spends half the day in the next grade up. At seven, she reads at the fifth grade level. Any special needs money is spent on the learning disabled kids. While I'm not saying that they shouldn't be getting that money, I AM saying that my kids have special needs, too. Aimee was mainstreamed, and I regret that decision. While her grades are great, I can see that she isn't always as challenged as she should be, and that leads to some behavior issues. The high school math teacher, at her last conference, said that she corrects him often in front of the whole class, and it really bothers him because she's usually right. This one was a challenge because technically she's not talking back to him, so, umm....soldier on, Sir. A few years ago we had an issue with a teacher where Aimee would refuse to do the work because it was too easy and the teacher easily intimidated. Had to have a chat with my girl about that. While I was proud of her for speaking her mind, she has to learn the proper respect as well. But anyway, back to the school. Because there's no money for my children's special needs, they can't get the challenge that they need. I have resisted home schooling them in the past for a few reasons. One, curriculum is expensive, and two, if my kid is correcting a man who has a master's degree in math, no way am I qualified to teach her. Also, the teachers themselves at our school are fantastic. I mean, beyond the call of duty. Remember the aforementioned no raise in six years. Despite the fact that we are the lowest paying district in the state, most of our elementary teachers have stuck around. We have lost quite a few high school teachers, but most of those were valid reasons. One retired, one had a baby, one had a job offer from New Zealand (yeah, I'd jump on that, too!). A few have left for higher pay, but not too many. None of the elementary teachers have left for higher pay. They are dedicated, and willing to work with our family, within the boundaries of what the district has available. They deal with my crabby 5 am emails without complaint, they give me their home phone numbers and private email addresses. No one in the administration at my school has done anything but lie. Yes, Aimee will graduate ready to go straight to university (they STILL don't have foreign language or higher math, but I can sign her up for online classes at TSJC and pay for them out of my own pocket), yes, we will have a gifted and talented program in the 2007-2008 school year (umm, it's April, no GT program, although testing has been done, but not evaluated); yes, we will make every possible accomodation for your gifted kids (but there's now a team in place which must explore and approve every change of the type my kids have already done such as spending half a day in another classroom so it will take months to implement these changes).
Well, typing this out has certainly helped. Guess I should have done this awhile back. Because re-reading it makes it all look ridiculous. The overwhelming attitude that I get from them is "Sorry that your children are smart, but we can't help them." So, thanks, anonymous readers, for helping me to make a decision you didn't even know you were going to help with when you came here today!
I have managed to finish a couple of books-Looking Glass Wars by Frank Bedder and Diana, Her True Story. Looking Glass Wars was great, an alternate look at Alice In Wonderland (and I'm currently re-reading that) and Diana was, well, depressing, in light of everything that eventually happened in her life.
More later, littles, middles and big all awake!
First, it's soccer season. My 3 oldest kids all play soccer. We have two games every Saturday and then at least one either Monday or Wednesday. Every Saturday morning the city of Trinidad, about 30 minutes down the road from us, becomes soccer crazy. Everywhere you look you see soccer uniforms. At any given moment there can be up to five games going on-which crushes schedules quite a bit when you have multiple kids playing! It's nothing for Larry to drop off me, a little and a middle while he takes Aimee, a little and a middle to another field, then goes and picks us up and takes us to the other field. Poor guy, spends a good deal of his Saturday driving.
Next, Larry is finishing up school. Lots of excitement there, and some night classes involved, too. He graduates May 9.
Then there's Spring Cleaning, something I will be blogging more about later. I got a late start on it, and haven't been able to properly do it in a few years because I was either pregnant or had a little. So, as you can imagine, it's a large task this year.
We've been on Fire Watch, and with Larry being a volunteer firefighter, this always bring an added sense of awareness. Driving to Trinidad can mean a detour for a smoke chase! There was a huge fire a few hours away from us, near Ordway, and two volunteer firefighters were lost. Larry wrestled back and forth about going to the memorial for these two heroes, and ultimately did not go. I think he has a hard time facing his own mortality in the loss of a brother. I have a hard time with these losses, too. It's hard for me to face Larry's mortality.
We've been trying to decide whether or not to homeschool the middles. I haven't talked a lot about this, but they are special needs, but on the other end of the spectrum from someone who is learning disabled. Aimee, my oldest, is a sophomore, and wants to graduate with her class. I can respect that, but if she won't graduate ready to go straight to college, I will homeschool her, too. See, living in a small town, our school doesn't have a lot of funding. The average cost of a house here in town is less than $120,000, so there isn't a lot of property tax. They also don't have a grantwriter. So they are strapped for cash. Our teachers and aides just got their first raise in SIX years. Saren has already been bumped up a grade, and could probably go to the junior high for math but I don't want him there, he's not socially ready for that. Nikki isn't socially ready to be bumped up but she spends half the day in the next grade up. At seven, she reads at the fifth grade level. Any special needs money is spent on the learning disabled kids. While I'm not saying that they shouldn't be getting that money, I AM saying that my kids have special needs, too. Aimee was mainstreamed, and I regret that decision. While her grades are great, I can see that she isn't always as challenged as she should be, and that leads to some behavior issues. The high school math teacher, at her last conference, said that she corrects him often in front of the whole class, and it really bothers him because she's usually right. This one was a challenge because technically she's not talking back to him, so, umm....soldier on, Sir. A few years ago we had an issue with a teacher where Aimee would refuse to do the work because it was too easy and the teacher easily intimidated. Had to have a chat with my girl about that. While I was proud of her for speaking her mind, she has to learn the proper respect as well. But anyway, back to the school. Because there's no money for my children's special needs, they can't get the challenge that they need. I have resisted home schooling them in the past for a few reasons. One, curriculum is expensive, and two, if my kid is correcting a man who has a master's degree in math, no way am I qualified to teach her. Also, the teachers themselves at our school are fantastic. I mean, beyond the call of duty. Remember the aforementioned no raise in six years. Despite the fact that we are the lowest paying district in the state, most of our elementary teachers have stuck around. We have lost quite a few high school teachers, but most of those were valid reasons. One retired, one had a baby, one had a job offer from New Zealand (yeah, I'd jump on that, too!). A few have left for higher pay, but not too many. None of the elementary teachers have left for higher pay. They are dedicated, and willing to work with our family, within the boundaries of what the district has available. They deal with my crabby 5 am emails without complaint, they give me their home phone numbers and private email addresses. No one in the administration at my school has done anything but lie. Yes, Aimee will graduate ready to go straight to university (they STILL don't have foreign language or higher math, but I can sign her up for online classes at TSJC and pay for them out of my own pocket), yes, we will have a gifted and talented program in the 2007-2008 school year (umm, it's April, no GT program, although testing has been done, but not evaluated); yes, we will make every possible accomodation for your gifted kids (but there's now a team in place which must explore and approve every change of the type my kids have already done such as spending half a day in another classroom so it will take months to implement these changes).
Well, typing this out has certainly helped. Guess I should have done this awhile back. Because re-reading it makes it all look ridiculous. The overwhelming attitude that I get from them is "Sorry that your children are smart, but we can't help them." So, thanks, anonymous readers, for helping me to make a decision you didn't even know you were going to help with when you came here today!
I have managed to finish a couple of books-Looking Glass Wars by Frank Bedder and Diana, Her True Story. Looking Glass Wars was great, an alternate look at Alice In Wonderland (and I'm currently re-reading that) and Diana was, well, depressing, in light of everything that eventually happened in her life.
More later, littles, middles and big all awake!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
So What Is A Modern Traditional Wife, Anyway?
Well, that is a good question!
Here’s my take on the matter:
First and foremost, she has a healthy relationship with God. Maybe she hasn’t always, but she does now.
She also has a healthy relationship with her husband. In fact, she would probably consider herself submissive to her husband. Now, I don’t mean submissive in that “I’m weak, please do whatever you want to me because it’s not my place to stick up for myself or my children” kind of way, or in that (ahem) other kind of way that always seems to show up when you google “Wifely submission”. What I mean is that her husband is, in all respects, the man of the family. While he may not make all the decisions, and he may not make any major decisions without talking to her about it (and probably praying a lot, too), he is the Head of the family. She submits to him in subtle, meaningful ways, that raise up his standing to the children and in the community. She may, in most things, stand on an even level with him-for example, my husband considers us partners. But in our partnership, we both have responsibilities, and as his are far greater than mine could ever be, I do what I can to make his life easier.
She usually has children, or wants them. Mothering is an important part of her identity.
She is often college educated, but stays at home to care for her husband and children. I have worked, but I don’t any longer.
She is frugal, often by necessity. Living in today’s society on one stable income, is difficult. She may bring in some money with a bit of cottage industry, but it’s usually not a constant, so she has had to learn to budget for everything.
She isn’t a perfect wife or mother, although sometimes she struggles with feeling like she should be (more on THAT in a later post or twelve!).
She is more than content, she is happy in her role as helpmeet to her husband, mother to her children, keeper of her home. That’s not to say she walks through life with a Stepford like smile on her face, with fresh baked cookies at the ready, able to whip up gourmet meals or mudpies without getting her apron soiled. She is capable of thinking for herself, forgets to buy stuff at the store, is sometimes too tired for sex, and still needs a good cry once in awhile. Not because she’s sad, but because that’s the way we’re wired. She faces trials and challenges, disappointment and struggle, and not always with a smile on her face. But she does face them, head on, because she has a quiet strength inside that comes from many places-her relationships with God and her husband, her friends and her children. Her desire to take care of her family, and her own self worth. She also has joys beyond count, rewards beyond measure, and hugs to share.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Cast of Chracters
Above: Front Row of the fully loaded van-Roan, Nikki, Aria
Back Row of the Fully Loaded Van-Aimee, Saren, Jamie
Where to start?
At the beginning, I suppose, with introductions all around.
I’m Keisha, a 35 year old wife and mother. My family and I live in a small town in Southern Colorado with a population of about 650. We are a zero stoplight town, although we do have multiple stop signs. I am chronically tired. Of course, I’m pretty sure that I haven’t slept through until the alarm went off more than three nights in a row for the past three years. I bet, if you’re reading this blog, that you can relate!
My DH is Larry, he’s 42. He’s currently going to school to be a lineman. He’s at the top of his class, and I’m really proud of him. We’re hoping that he’ll get hired locally as a groundsman with the electric co-op when he graduates. He’ll move up to being a lineman after serving an apprenticeship.
Oldest DD is Aimee, she’s 16. She plays lots of sports, dyes her hair burgundy red, paints her fingernails black and only wears jeans. Every single day she is a source of joy for us.
Our oldest DS is Wayne, he’s 14. He’s Larry’s son from his previous marriage, lives with his mom. We don’t get to see him very often, and we miss him and love him every single day.
Next on the list is Saren, our 9 year old DS. He’s a bit of a different breed, but different seems to be the way of things in this family. He’s growing like a weed, up three pants sizes in the last year!
Then we have Nikki, a 7 year old girlie girl to the core! She’ll be the one who’ll take an hour to get ready, once she truly discovers boys. She’s a smart girl, and is learning to give as good as she gets!
Next on our list is Roan, he’s 2. He’s wickedly cute, with eyes that are going to cause some broken hearts someday. He loves Legos and cars, but isn’t averse to playing dolls with the girls.
And last on our list of biologicals is Aria. She just turned 1. She’s an explorer, and despite my efforts to the contrary, very definitely spoiled!
Our cast of characters (and boy, are they characters!) also includes what I call “Add On Kids”. I didn’t birth them, but I feed them, hug them when they cry, yell at them when they screw up, and love them as if they were mine.
First there’s Laura, Aimee’s 15 year old best friend. She’s not around as much as she used to be, but I still love her just the same.
Then there’s Big Jessica, she’s 23 and introduced me at church as her “Other Mom”. She’s a single mom and spends a lot of time hanging out here.
Jamie, 4, is Jessica’s daughter. We babysit her quite a bit. She’s very willful, and I’m hoping that will evolve into a quiet strength as she grows up, instead of going the other way. She’s a source of both frustration and hours of laughter.
Little Jessica is 21 and developmentally delayed. She lives in our apartment complex with her mom, and spends quite a bit of time with us when mom is working or she wants to hang around with the kids. She has a love of life that sometimes leaves me speechless!
Well I think that’s it for our little group. Hope you enjoyed meeting them!
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